to stand. and to just wonder what is really happening

i cant stand rejection
i cant anymore
rejection leads to confusion
confusion wud somehow leads to bad conclusion
bad conclusion caused by high expectations

here locked in my heart

i dont really wanna talk bout wat ive been doing
cuz ive shared with you
so, i dont feel any needs to share it anywhere else or to anyone else

but i gotta tell u
i have a problem
i have problem on how to explain my feelings u're making me have
its impossible to express
id always go "i. i. i."
i want to say how i feel but it feels as if my mouth suddenly froze cuz with u, the feeling im having is undescribeable :)

i have one more problem
i have dis one fear of losing u
i dun want any other guys to have anything to do with u
haha
but i noe it doesnt work dat way phffft
so, if any guys out there is reading dis,
back off frem her!
hahaha -..-"
but its okay. trust me, she wont like u anyway haha
*bajet gile seyh mamat niyhhhh

p/s
.
i. ... i....
see? i cant describe it. but i need to tell you this amaaaazing feeling

dis is sooo unreal
i never had feel this way
and this feeling wud never change
pls stay :)

you r everything
forever

traffic

fuhhh. it's kinda hard fer me to write coz somehow when i dont write,i wud always have shitload of ideas pouring out from filthy brain but the moment when i have the tendency (sounds more like a science term) to write,somehow(ok,maybe i'm using to much "some") in some part of my brain where "the brain fluid of writing blog" pass through, there's a traffic light dat wud turns red whenever my anxiety of writing rush through my veins -..-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <-here's the blog writing brain alley
~~~~~000~~~~~ <- here's the traffic light

and it'd go like
~~~~~000|||~~~ <-this! -..-"

okayyy,
i'm feeling it nowww
it's comingggg
BYE *redlight

zzzzzzzzzz

much have i learnt

it's a wide world out there. the saying is very true tho.
there's a lot more of life than just school actually
i just realized this now since spm has ended for me. FOREVER *just by reminding this soothes me :D haaaahhh.LOL

okay, lets see how much have i done so far:
work *hell tiring,trust me,studying is way more fun than stuck in ur box and facing the monitor all day long trying to think what's the write word to write ,
movies *watching movies happen to be my part time job now. either the one downloaded at the internet or the one that is on the cinema. i wud watch all of em. it has become my addiction now
friends *this one is quite interesting. okay here i go. i'll make it short.
1st sory: hilman is my schoolmate.
he introduced me to arif,
arif introduced me to hafiz
and hazim
and the list goes on and on
2nd story: this one is literally similar to the first one but this time the pioneer is
my driving instructor,ray who is the coolest driving instructor ever
etc. *i have a lot more to tell but i'm too lazy to keep on keep my fingers tapping this keyboard. -..-"

suddenly, i don't have the urge to write . bhaha. k then, see ya later alligator

it's hard fer me as much as it is fer you

i've decided to be with her coz i dont want to keep on hoping coz dat hurts
but now i know it hurts more
i didnt do dis coz i love her, i did dis coz i wanna let go of you
and i tot i'd work
so, u better move on coz things r better fer you without me
trust me, i dont deserve you
i've hurt you, u shud hate me
curse me in everyway u can
i am mean, and i dont deserve a nice girl like you
u shud hate me,really
i think u shud know

i noe this it's confusing coz sometimes i write,and sometimes i dont but just leave it to me to do the thinking and u guys concentrate on reading. k?
good then